Leadership is a desirable quality that many employers seek in candidates of all levels. It can signal strengths like problem-solving, organization, and effective communication. Whether or not you’re interviewing for a role that requires managing others, highlighting your leadership skills can be a valuable endeavor.

During an interview, you may receive questions about your leadership abilities, which typically take the form of behavioral interview questions—or questions that allow a potential employer to learn more about you.

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Two reasons we decide not to decide:

#1. People-pleasing:

Excessive people-pleasing leads to indecision, anxiety, resentment, and misery. After all, how can you fully know what others want?

People-pleasers can’t say no for fear of disappointing. Anyone who can’t say no lets others drive decisions.

If you can’t make decisions, someone else runs your life.

#2. Loss aversion:

The fear of loss maintains the status quo.

“For most people, the fear of losing $100 is more intense than the hope of gaining $150.” Daniel Kahneman

People lie to avoid loss about twice as often as to achieve gain. (Schindler and Pfattheicher)

3 ways to lean into decisiveness:

“Decisiveness is a characteristic of high-performing men and women. Almost any decision is better than no decision at all.” Brian Tracy

The decision not to make a decision is a decision.

#1. Create momentum.

Momentum is built on a series of small decisions that achieve a clear goal.

Indecision leads to lethargy, discouragement, and defeat.

“It’s never the size of the problem that is the problem. It’s a lack of momentum.” John Maxwell

#2. Say no:

A coachee, in his youth, couldn’t say no and ended up traveling with his girlfriend’s family on vacation. He felt miserable.

He since learned that saying no earns more respect than always saying yes.

The first time I said no to my boss was painful.

#3. Get real:

People get over poor decisions when you own them, correct them, and keep your eye on the larger objective. (Inspired by a recent coaching conversation.)

At WD-40 about 60% believe they can achieve their career goals without leaving the company. The strategy is simple, but not necessarily easy.*

Learn
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“Every single person in your organization is on a learning curve – including you.” (Whitney Johnson at the World Business Forum 2018)

Transformational moment:

“You can learn more – if you can survive it – from a setback than you can from success. Success is a dangerous thing if you have too much of it.”

“My best learning occurs when I hit one of those bumps in the road. I realize that there’s more to learn.”

Bob became CEO at 25 years old. At 35 the board fired him. Ultimately, the board granted him 3 months to demonstrate he had turned things around.

“I had a transformational moment in the midst of all this sadness, and shame, and failure … and began to grow … with some emotional intelligence.”

Bob’s leadership was transformed when he shifted toward humility and away from arrogance as a result of reading “The Best and the Brightest,” by David Halberstam.

Expressions of humility:

Learn to listen to others. Arrogance talks. Humility listens.

Learn to be thoughtful with the board. (I didn’t explore this with Bob.)

Create an advisory council of franchisees. “Where an awful lot of the wisdom of the system existed.”

Visit 100 locations a year to keep in touch with franchisees.

(Practiced by the entire senior management team.)

Always take 100% of the responsibility for the well-being of the system.

 

“We decided that we would never blame our followership.”

Own your mistakes. Bob said the board’s action was deserved. “I had lost my way.”

Apologize. “When we apologized to our franchisees and invited them in to fix it, they were more than willing to help.”

Just shut up and do it:

Discomfort is the path to success, but not all discomfort is the same.

Sometimes discomfort means STOP. You’re uncomfortable with fudging the numbers, for example. In ethical areas discomfort means stop.

In the area of development, discomfort means press forward. The only way to increase capacity is to do things that make you at least a little uncomfortable.

In the area of character and virtue, discomfort means keep going. If you’re uncomfortable taking responsibility, just shut up and do it.

Do stuff you want to avoid.

Fear is defeated by doing what’s uncomfortable. You overcome fear of snakes, for example, by getting progressively closer to snakes. (Exposure Therapy)

The answer to insecurity is action.

Remember past experiences when you stepped into uncertainty and difficulty. Now do that again and again.

Discomfort is the companion of growth and development.

Comfortable with discomfort:

Pursue a win that makes you comfortable with discomfort.

Don’t wake up thinking, “I’m going to make myself miserable today.”

Discomfort isn’t its own reward. But discomfort gives value to progress. Hard-fought wins are more fulfilling than easy wins.

Just shut up and do it:

#1. Appreciate others when you feel under-appreciated.

#2. Serve when disappointed.

#3. Forgive when offended.

The trouble with forgiveness is you don’t need it until it’s hard to give. Usually we don’t forgive, we tolerate and call it forgiveness. Forgiveness is always hard.

#4. Bring it up when avoiding is easier.

#5. Care when others don’t care.

Some leadership behaviors are their own reward. Hard work, for example, is its own reward. Find enjoyment in work, even if you have to shut up and do it.

How has discomfort been an asset on your leadership journey?

What’s the difference between good discomfort and bad discomfort?