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Around half the population of the United States woke up on Wednesday morning to enormous disappointment. In a stunning upset, Donald Trump defeated Hillary Clinton in the race for president, leaving Trump supporters elated and many Clinton backers devastated.

But in my work as a coach, I've found that even the most crushing defeats can ultimately be channeled into energy for forging ahead. Regaining confidence is an uphill battle, and it takes a crowd—or at least two people, talking things out—to pull an someone out of a funk. Here's how it can be done.

We tend to think of people who have true grit and exceptional perseverance as hard -- they have a thick enough skin and strong enough emotional defenses that whatever life throws at them, it simply bounces off.

If you view mental toughness through this prism, it's easy enough to extrapolate how to develop more of it -- challenge yourself, take more knocks, and you'll learn to persevere even when it hurts. But according to a couple of thought-provoking recent articles, this is the pretty much the exact opposite of the truth about real resilience.

The heart of exceptional mental toughness, these writers argue, isn't the ability to shut the world out, but a desire to engage it. True grit comes from passion -- from love -- not from emotional hardness.

Life isn’t linear. No matter how well thought out your plans, they’ll eventually collide with a reality you didn’t plan on. Learning to "lean into the curves" when life doesn’t unfold as you’d hoped will help spare you untold stress, bounce back faster and emerge better off.  Here’s five ways to do just that.

Say you’re a high performer who's risen through the ranks. Now you have even bigger responsibilities. Or you're working your way toward a promotion and need to show your skills and professionalism in the best light. Then the phone call comes. The results of your medical tests weren't good. Or you suddenly have to take care of a loved one in an emergency. Or there's an unexpected financial hit that could spell catastrophe.

Whatever the situation, your life just got much more complicated. While intuitively you know that these things can happen to anyone, the anxiety of dealing with such troubling events, coupled with the pressure to continue to perform in your job, amps up the stress to DEFCON 1.

"A curveball like that requires sharpening your coping skills and expanding them so that you can deal with what’s being demanded of you," says clinical psychologist Alicia H. Clark, adjunct professor at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology. And there is a strategic approach you can take to help you cope and perform better, even when you’re operating under extreme stress.

The truth is that life can be tough, business can be hard-hitting and success comes with challenges. What separates those who can hold their own and keep going in times of adversity is a cluster of habits that center on resilience.

Resilience means developing a strong solid level of mental toughness. We aren't born with it--it's a habit you develop, a skill you learn. And it's absolutely essential.

Here are four core habits of the most resilient people:

1. They're connected to their emotions.
Resilient people understand their emotions and how to manage them. Some people say that suppressing what you feel is the best approach when you're going through tough times, but it's just the opposite--suppressing your emotions can backfire. People who are highly anxious or have a lot on their minds tend to struggle with unwanted thoughts. Resilient people are connected to their emotions and self-aware, which gives them more control.

2. They don't listen to negative voices in their heads.
Resilient people are able to get past the negativity and dig deeper to discover what's triggering it. Then instead of taking it to heart, they're able to turn it  into positive intentions. Resilient people are optimistic and believe in their own strength and ability to overcome any problems. In a crisis, a resilient person will be positive, open and willing to find the solution. They will not be dwelling on the problem but looking forward to the future solutions that should be considered.